Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Dream from my Daughter's Friend

Hi Tammy,

I had a dream about you last night. Perhaps I should start over--confessing some night thoughts about my friend's mom could be misconstrued and we only met once. Though, I do feel closer to you than anyone else I've only met once. After all, at the time your new MBA graduate WAS trying to expose some things I need not mention. Hopefully you remember. On second thought, hopefully you forgot. Regardless, it was a quick ice-breaker. Or more accurately, it was like taking a blow torch to a snow cone that had already been dropped on sun-beaten sidewalk; there is no holding back when it comes to Alecia--I appreciate Alecia and that we are on the same brain wave in a lot of ways. And Ashley too for that matter. I would say more about Ashley, but I recognize how vexing her infatuation with me as well as my man presence is for her. Plus, I still need to provide her with a nice decoration for the hood of her car. She's happy to explain.

Clearly, I digress. Back to the message at hand. The dream. It's ok, people don't have to leave the room for you to read this; fortunately, or unfortunately, it's not that kind of dream. The dream stems from me having recently heard about this havoc your white blood cells are creating for you. By the way, before I continue, I want to send you and Alecia and Ashley and Tony my warmest wishes and best thoughts for your physical recovery and all of the emotional hills and valleys I can only imagine you are experiencing.So, the dream. I'll get through it eventually. In the dream there were several familiar faces--you, Alecia, Ashley, Tony, me--and a bunch of unfamiliar faces--little kids. Shut it Alecia, I'm not a perv, I'm not dreaming about little kids. But truly, these were very little kids, like the size of action figures, only completely functional and animated. Much like Lilliputians. At any rate, we all invaded this ranch house somewhere in an arid, desert-like rural area. Aside from a couple of saguaro cacti in front of the house, there were not any other neighbors. Immediately after entering the house we all hurriedly sought out our bedrooms like some ecstatic Jersey Shore or Real World contestants. Despite our overt enthusiasm for the new digs, the real reason we were all so excited was to see you. You were actually already at this house being cared for and we came to cheer you up and help however we could.

Now, of course, our stay at the house did not come without its challenges. In particular, attending to the little…fully functional…action figure-sized…kids. Like all energetic, curious, playful little kids, these varmints wanted to go outside to run around and giggle and just generally be kids. Soon enough, though, we found the little kids had discovered the alligator pond. Of course there's alligator pond in the middle of the rustic desert. I'm from Florida, what do you expect? Moving along. The uncontainable little kids kept falling in the alligator pond. One can't leave a little kid to fend for himself in an alligator pond. So I rescued the first fallen action figure. Then another Lilliputian fell in. With alligators swimming all about, trying to engulf the snack-sized little rascals, I jumped in again…and again…and again, rescuing the tick-turds one after the next. I'd pull them out, dry them off on shore, dry their tears, and send them one their way with a warning to stay away from the dangerous, petrifying alligator pond. As is often the case, the little minnows couldn't touch the stove just once, but had to repeat it a few times. But I just kept rescuing and kept reminding to avoid the danger. The number of incidents steadily declined until before I knew it I was drying off my last little kid. Each incident was very scary, very saddening. But all of those rescues were worth it with complete relief and inexplicable joy culminating in that final towel drying.

What I gather from this dream is rather straightforward. You have these innocent, miniature cells (the little kids) that are being bombarded by some dangerous conditions (toothy, snarling alligators). But with your lively demeanor and support of your family and friends and doctors and people who only meet you one time who are rooting you on, it may feel like a day at the alligator pond, but in the end you get dried off for the last time and you are safely on the shore.

All my love,
Josh (JA)

Friday, May 20, 2011

1 Week Post Consolidation Chemo

Hi all .... just checking in.  This hasn't been one of my better weeks.  I had chemo last week so my blood count is down.  I will continue to get weaker until my counts start to come back up.  There are more babysteps than I realized!  I have been in for a blood count every day this week.  My platelets should be in the 150,000 range, this morning mine was 3000!  That was after having platelets yesterday.  I had more platelets today so hopefully they will start to regrow. 

Another problem that I've been having is that my port is in an unusual position therefore they have to stick me several times before they get the needle into the port.  So for the smaller blood tests, they have been using my arm and today the nurse told me my vein blew!   YUCK!!!!  Don't tell me stuff like this.  I am a very strong person but I don't like to hear about veins, blood or needles!!

Otherwise I am doing great!!!  I want to thank all of my friends that stayed with me last week and plan to next week.  You can see by my platelet count, I need you here!!  Plus I like to talk!!  :-)

Also I want to thank you all for the inspirational messages you leave on Caring Bridge!  When I am house bound, Jeff and I run out of things to talk about!  Not really... I just like hearing from you!!

One more thank you and I'm done for now!!  Actually two!  Because of my finances, there are many people working on organizing a benefit and donation drive for me.  I can not tell you how much this means to me!!  Every time I'm notified that a donation has been made to the Tammy Muth Fund, I cry.  You are all sooooo wonderful and I can not wait until I can help you some day!  I pray that it will not be your health; I will be there for anything. I love you all!!!

Please Join Me at My Benefit

In order to help pay my mounting medical bills, a fundraiser is being hosted in my honor. Everyone is invited, please join us!

  • Location: Millard Legion, 14334 U Street, Omaha, NE
  • $10 donation at the door 
  • Silent auction with great items to bid on
    • Frog's Leap: magnum of cabernet sauvignon
    • Sequoia Grove: bottle of wine
    • Sawyer Cellars: 3 bottles of rose
    • Nebraska football memorabilia
  • All you can eat
  • Local bands

Donations can be made through this website, by calling Great Western Bank (ph: 402.551.4310) and specify you would like to donate to the Tammy Muth Fund or they can be mailed to the below address:

Tammy Muth Fund
c/o Jacki Inman
18839 Edna Street
Omaha, NE 68136"

Sunday, May 15, 2011

Welcome to my blog!

As a healthy fifty-one year old woman, I was shocked to find out that I have acute myeloid leukemia. I started getting sick at the end of January and just kept on getting rapidly worse. One night something urged me to get out of bed and go to the hospital. Because of this decision, I am alive today and my journey to recovery began. That Tuesday night became early Wednesday morning and by 9:00 a.m. that morning, I was on a ventilator, diagnosed with double pneumonia, influenza A and B and leukemia (confirmed by a bone marrow biopsy taken while I was on the ventilator). The Alegent doctors and nurses provided me with impeccable care and helped me recover to a point where I was able to start chemotherapy that following Monday. To me, chemotherapy felt like a breeze compared to all I had been through. With wonderful care, medical expertise, strong-will and God, I am now in remission. I have follow-up chemo while they search for a donor match. I will be getting my bone marrow transplant in Seattle and spending four months at the University of Washington because they are not only the best but they pioneered the allogeneic bone marrow transplant procedure. I look forward to spending many more years with my incredible family and friends.

With love,